Before this blog, there was a blog that I would run with my friends which would have weekly themes and we would discuss a variety of things. Recently I stumbled across a letter to my seventeen year old self while going back through the site after my lovely friend Niamh did a reaction video to her letter to her eighteen year old self. I thought I would take this change to write a little letter to my fifteen year old self, responding to some of the things that I said as well as putting in some life lessons.
Dear Fifteen Year Old Meg,
Please stop worrying about happiness and how you are going to feel in five years time and learn to live in the moment, you begin to feel a lot happier by living that way. Sixth form was one of the hardest times of your life, it was a whirlwind of emotions and ups and downs but at the end of the day you managed to work for good grades and get into university. You are going to go on a gap year and you are going to be moving to another country for nine months, as excited as you are you are also terrified to leave the town and people that you have loved to hate for years behind.
A year from turning fifteen you will begin to fall in love, or at least it might feel like it at the time. You are going to end up getting your heart broken and spending nights on end wondering why on earth you weren’t good enough and what was so special about the other girl that you were unable to give to him. Yet, in this you are going to manage to find yourself and your passions - it is going to inspire you to pick up a pen and begin writing all over again. Writing will become your remedy to all heartaches and struggles you face.
Right now, you still have no clue what you really want to do with your future, other than knowing that you want to take photographs. Even your teachers have told you that they couldn’t ever see you stuck in an office job, that you are far too creative for that. Studying digital photography for three years at uni will hopefully teach you enough about the industry and get you enough connections to avoid being stuck in a dead end job for the rest of your life.
You are also going to have travelled to Greece and are about to leave for Amsterdam, your first holiday on your own with a friend and you are going to see a band you love there. As for Australia, your fascination with the country has died down however you do still want to visit pretty badly (though your bank balance isn’t agreeing too much at the moment).
That YouTube video you wanted to post still hasn’t happened, but it is in the works. Things are happening and you have a burning desire to create everyday, whether this is through writing or editing or taking photos; you always need to have the creative outlet. You’re still a strange perfectionist who wont post anything until she is truly happy with it, and you always feel as though your work never compares to anyone else’s work. This is something that you are still working on, you need to stop comparing your works in progress to finished masterpieces that people have spent vast amounts of time on.
Stop hiding behind your computer, go out and live. The world doesn’t wait for you and you miss a hell of a lot when you are on Twitter all day.
Love,
Your 18 Year Old Self
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